


Four Seasons

by TheSongSmith



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2020 is a dumpster fire so have this fic, DESTIEL IS CANON BITCHES, Four Seasons Total Landscaping, How did this even happen, I am once again asking what even is 2020, I can't believe Rudy Giuliani is a legit character tag already, Inspired by Twitter, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Sex Shop, Twitter made me do it, What even is 2020, also, fuck trump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27455311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSongSmith/pseuds/TheSongSmith
Summary: GUYS THIS IS SO STUPID, BUT SO IS THE WORLD RIGHT NOWCas is the owner of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, and he received a very curious call on a quiet Saturday morning. Dean owns the adult shop next door, and is very confused by what's going on. Good times are had by all, except Donald Trump because fuck that morally-bankrupt tangerine.Is this technically a crackfic? It feels like it should be, but like this actually happened in real life, and I don't know how to handle it besides writing fic.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 287
Kudos: 2594





	Four Seasons

**Author's Note:**

> ..............................Twitter made me do it.
> 
> Prompt from @coinofstone: I ABSOLUTELY NEED Castiel, the no fucks given true blue owner of Four Seasons Total Landscaping who accepted the booking knowing FULL WELL what he was doing, and Dean the owner of the sex shop next door who is never going to stop laughing.

Nobody visits an adult toy store at ten in the morning, so  _ Fantasy Land _ wasn’t technically open, but Dean liked to do most of his chores before they opened, when he could listen to music and not worry about customers. He was there unpacking inventory when he heard the commotion start. Puzzled, he poked his head out the door and looked over to  _ Four Seasons Total Landscaping _ , where a small group of young, important-looking people in suits were milling around. Some of them seemed to be unpacking equipment into the loading bay, and one of them was taping blue and red signs to the metal door, between the fire extinguisher and the yellow hose. Dean hesitated only a moment, trying to figure out how he was going to explain this one to the stoic owner of the place. Of course he had Cas’ number, for business purposes, (and also so he could flirt like hell with the oblivious man), so he dialed the number, waiting for a moment before the low, gravely “Hello, Dean,” fell into his ear.

“Yeah, uh, hey Cas...sorry to bother you, but...aren’t you guys closed on the weekends?”

There was a slight lull, a muffled conversation on the other end of the line, and when Cas’ voice returned he sounded puzzled. “Yes, we’ve always been closed on the weekends. Why?”

Dean hesitated, taking another look out the door. “Well, there’s a bunch of suits here in your loading dock...I dunno what they’re doing but it looks like they’re setting up sound equipment or something?”

“Oh!” Cas replied, and Dean heard the distinct sound of a car door slam on the other end of the line. “They’ve started already? I’m on my way over with beer, I’ll explain when I get there.” He hung up, and Dean, more confused than ever, gave up on his inventory work to watch the strange events unfolding.

A few minutes later Cas’ car pulled up, and the man hopped out, grinning wider than Dean had ever seen. To Dean surprise he ignored his own business completely, and walked straight up to Dean’s shop, raising a case of beer in salute. “I hope you don’t mind me interrupting your work,” he said, “But I think you’ll enjoy this.”

Dean frowned slightly. “You’re gonna have to fill me in, man. I have no idea what’s happening here.”

To his surprise, a little smirk started forming in the corner of Cas’ mouth. “You’re never going to guess who I got a call from this morning.”

Dean sat in stunned silence for a moment after Cas’ explanation, trying to work it all out in his brain. “So...the Trump campaign called you...and asked to host a press conference in your loading dock? Did they know it was a landscaping business?”

“I don’t think so,” Cas answered. “I believe they wanted to book the Four Seasons hotel. But I confirmed the address with them four times.”

“So they asked you to book your place for a press conference...” Dean repeated, still turning the idea over in his mind. “And...you said yes?!”

A giddy little laugh escaped the dark-haired man, and he nodded. “I told them it would be an honor," he said, rolling his eyes. "I didn’t think they’d actually go through with it once they saw it!”

Dean laughed, shaking his head. “Jesus Christ, Cas, you’re a national hero. And a genius. You’re going to have half the country calling you once they go on-air. Put the beers in the fridge, I’m pretty sure I have some chairs in the back somewhere...”

Neither of them was quite sure whose idea it had been to start a drinking game, but that was how they ended up, far too drunk for eleven-thirty in the morning, tears streaming down their faces as they watched Rudy Giuliani rant incoherently from a podium set between a fire extinguisher and a yellow hose. Someone in the press pool informed him that all of the networks had just called the race, and that Joe Biden would be the next president of the United States, and they both cheered as they watched the deranged man lose his mind over it. And if Dean was shirking his responsibilities to enjoy this moment with Cas? Well, he could live with that.

  
And when Cas’ phone started ringing off the hook, and he silenced it, grabbed Dean by the shirt, and yanked him into a dizzying kiss? He supposed he could live with that too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Since this is apparently blowing up a little, feel free to come chat with me over on Twitter! @TheSongSmithSPN, or on Tumblr, @TheSongSmithTumbles. I promise I’m mostly as ridiculous over there as this fic is 😂


End file.
